Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Well..again i don't know why i thought of posting a new one.As usual i am confused again ....directionless....cursing myself for the decision i took....Yet..i am happy...it's a secret,which even my conscious mind doesn't know......Yes.....i found that out yesterday..i am happy..just like how i used to be during those good old days..i was laughing again ,started my chirpy talks and outings with friends....but somehow my face is projecting a sad image,as that of a lady who is away from her love and who is presently going through a big emotional trauma......why?why?why?
I can't say i don't know now,b'coz i know .I know that i am afraid to reveal my happiness ,i am afraid that this happiness is going to be a short lived one,i am afraid that this happiness will make me mad.......
What a human being i am....to be sad when you are really happy.......
Its true...our wants will never end ....am so greedy.................
To be independent,when you have the option to be dependent is a very good feeling.You get all theose chances to enjoy..still....you miss something...For me,I miss Shyam...the one vital person in my life.What confuses me is that i am happy enjoying my independence,although his absence is making me feel an emptiness inside.Can i not have Shyam and independence together in my life????
This,am posting from my bank and am doing this as if i am doing a crime...ohhhh....

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