Life has its own course......

There are times when you feel like staying away from acquaintances and stick to a few of your close friends.This is the best time to look inward and know yourselves.
But now time has come for me to come out of that shell of mine and interact with the world around me.After 2 long years ,i got a break,from a house wife to a working woman.Again this time also ,it is not what i had wanted all these years.But i have no choice,or,maybe its just that i don't want to choose from many available options.
I wanted to be in a middle state ,that of a working woman who can manage her home very well.But now i am away from my home,still searching for a balance.
I don't even know whether i want to mother a child now or not......am so indecisive.....
There was a time when i had wanted so many things ,a time when i was very ambitious and creative,but its a different life now.Yet i chose this life,i arranged this life,and am trying to cope with a life which has given me all essentials...I am not complaining but i can't help using the word 'cope',b'coz that's what i am doing now.
Even then i am not sure....whether i will be happy when i achieve that middle state...am so greedy....Ohhh!!!! God,Why am i so greedy?Why did you instill greed and selfishness in to my mind...?????