The Bridge

I stepped on the bridge,
the  surreal bridge of dreams,
long and wide,
and, at times, shaky and fragile.
I persevered,
clinging onto the handles of hope,
and treaded,
with slow, realistic steps;
Once I reached the midway, it narrowed,
Yes,
the bridge narrowed,
My eyes then spotted the destination,
Vivid and real,
where, the bridge shrunk and disappeared!

© Sarika Harikumar Shyam

     ***************

I

I, left me,hurriedly;
ebbing towards a space, so different, so strange,
engulfed in varied dimensions,
The I, left me, thus,
floating and swimming,towards another life;
a different me!

         *******
All Rights Reserved @ Sarika Harikumar Shyam , 01/07/2020

Conflicts

I have risked my securities,
To embrace the uncertainties,
So,
I do not like to be judged,
Impractical and foolish, in my middle age,
For,
Unlike the self appointed judges of my life,
I don’t want to be, ‘one among the many,’
The many, of that relentlessly waiting crowd,
Who wait inharmoniously,
Till retirement, to revive their truest passion!

© Sarika Harikumar

An Unwritten Complaint

He filled his ink for her,
In his fountain pen,
Day and Night,
Night and Day,
Till the nibs drowned,
In his ecstasy...
They couldn’t complain, could they?
All their life, they toiled for him,
Feeling beautiful,
In the verses he compiled,
But they were all for her,
The other woman,
Who was beyond his grasp,
And above his love!

© Sarika Harikumar Shyam, 08/06/2020

Reminiscence

***************
Do you remember those yellow sunflowers,
Photographing our first kiss in the flash of their yellow fields?
They were shy, you know,
As if they never witnessed a love, as passionate as ours, ever…

Was it then that I told you about my love for their yellow hue?
I think so, I vaguely remember you sliding one behind my ears.
You then told me about your love for the sky’s blue,
And held me up to capture its hue…

We were so naïve then, weren’t we?
Reaching for the sky and plucking those flowers,
Showing off our love, to them and the whole world,
Did we ever think then that it was a fool’s paradise?

 I am afraid to go there now, to those sunflower fields,
As they might find out, our little secret, even before our hearts do,
I wonder if they would be glad or sad,
When they witness a love, as impassionate as ours, now…


        *****************



©Sarika Harikumar Shyam, 03/06/2020

https://bharathvision.info/mermaid-short-story-written-by-sarika-harikumar/

If I say

If I say,
I can empathize,
with your stress,
It will be an understatement…
The days which churned me,
to spill the best and worst in me,
and the days which witnessed,
the thankless faces of the people,
the very same people from whom,
I yearned for a single word of praise…

Those days…
are still a nightmare,
When giving the best,
Was a synonym of stress,
A race, for want of something,
which never was worth your sweat.
But still, we go after that want, that need…
That is human nature, isn’t it?
To excel, to get appreciated,
to perform for gains,
both materialistic and emotional…
For that is how we move on,
instilling the seeds of virtual growth,
to grow like a selfish being,
while deep inside,
your own selfless mind,
rests in a corner; helpless…

© Sarika Harikumar Shyam, 28/05/2020

        ********************

The Spell

If you read what I write,
Then you know who I am.

If you enjoy what I write,
Then you like me for who I am.

If you look forward to my lines,
Then, I am the witch whom you love...

I possess an enchanting wand ,
To mesmerize your thoughts,day and night.

But,if I throw away my wand,
Will you still stay awake to read my verses?

Will you then throw your uptight mask,
And reveal your heart, my inamorato?

Let’s then travel in to the depths of this timeless universe,
And avow our love amidst the twinkling stars...

And when time detects our space,
Let’s disobey gravity and elope,

To that unknown point of creation,
Where space and time fell in love...

***************************

© Sarika Harikumar Shyam , September 2019

The Lovelit Drapes

It was an opaque curtain,
a stubborn one, I should say,
as it was reluctant to sway,
and lift itself,
even on a windy day...
But, I knew it danced,
swiftly, in gracious moves,
and I knew one more secret,
that it was in love with the Moon.
I had seen its blush,
the same one, a woman in love, would have,
in response to a gentle kiss...
Her veiled body gleamed,
on that moonlit night,
and that was when I knew that,
she was in love!
While admiring the lovelit drapes,
I realized something;
To shine, in your amor's embrace,
and sway in brimming love,
is a bliss immeasurable,
and incomparable;
This bliss is the only one,
which  stood the test of times,
and centuries,
and lives,
and perhaps evolution...
And for a moment, I was jealous,
Jealous of her state,
and of something which I had lost!

THE VOYAGE

A voyage of my life,

In a verse of emotions scripted by,

A girl with million questions,

A woman with myriad dreams,

A mother with tonnes of love,

And the wisdom of a seasoned soul.

I close my eyes and smile,

As my pen takes me to all these stages,

Blanketed on this single intense emotion,

Which painted my life in a variety of hues.

Here started my simple journey,

The end of which is still unknown.

Come with me, my dear mates,

When I traverse through these gates…

Stage: Teenage

----------------------

Dark elbows and dark lips,

That was I, to the many racists out there.

The beautiful heart under the dusky skin,

Fought with my desires and feelings.

Many a time, I wept,

Blaming my destiny and slept...

But my childhood was plattered in a hueful canvas,

Filled with butterflies and Gulmohars.

I dreamt to be amongst the myriad stars,

And to delve into the enchanting universe.

But my teenage fooled me,

And illusioned me with unreal hopes.

I ran behind a glittering mirage,

That one emotion of teenage frenzy.

I let myself hurt and crushed,

Under the heavy thrust of infatuation.

I never wanted to get up,

But my inner-self never gave up.

Years passed by and I rose again,

Like a Phoenix, to face my youth,

And the challenges out there.

And on one day, I met him...

Stage: The Woman

---------------------------

He lifted me up from all the dark pits,

He comforted me in my tearless sorrow,

He accompanied me even in my breath,

And,

He moulded the woman in me...

We met, fell in love,

And there, our life began.

His promises were strong and clear,

Just like the man himself.

And on one day,

We became Man and wife.

We sailed together,

In a journey of matured love,

Handling the many hiccups,

Caused by the spiteful lot.

And sometimes, the woman in me was jealous,

Of the 'male-privilege' showered on him.

My own inferior mind,

Made me dance to its chaotic tunes...

But our sail was never off course,

And later we embarked on our next journey.

Another childhood bloomed in front of our eyes,

And there began my motherhood...

Stage: The Motherhood

---------------------------------

And there she lay,

Our much-awaited creation,

As pink as a blooming rose,

And as soft as a bird's feather.

My child...

My beautiful daughter...

I touched her fragile fingers,

And her bouncing soft cheeks,

My child...

My beautiful daughter...

Tears rolled down as I laughed,

Watching her first rollover.

Each milestone of hers sent me into ecstasy,

And made me see a happy world.

I cried as she cried,

I laughed as she laughed,

I felt jealous when she hugged others,

And felt proud of her accomplishments.

She grew up so fast,

And I too aged at the same pace.

I scolded her for her teenage blues,

And shouted at her when she proved me wrong.

I never realized even for once,

That I am fighting with the generation gap.

I never acknowledged her maturity,

Nor praised her intelligence.

The egoist in me made me rigid,

And always evaded reality.

My ego made me a bitter mother,

And later, a grumpy grandmother.

I fell ill with old age,

And longed for her love.

Once again tears rolled down,

Thinking about her and my own stupidity.

I felt the same soft hands touching me,

And heard the soothing words of love.

Later, she wiped my tears for me,

And made me smile once again.

I then realized,

She was not "Frankenstein's Monster",

But my very own,

Sweet creation of love!

Continuum

----------------

The journey of life thus continued,

While I fought relentlessly with myself,

Over the taunts of patriarchs,

And ignoring the blessings which I have.

Hormones...I blamed everything on them,

For every undesirable event in my life.

Throughout my journey, one voice shouted at me,

My inner self, which had long surrendered to my ego.

I was vulnerable, I admit

And people said, "After all you're a woman".

And this again pushed me into the endless well,

Of ego, jealousy, and prejudice.

Thus, my story continues,

Like that of the many million humans in this world...

*******************************************

All rights reserved, Sarika Harikumar ,September 10,2019

A SILENT AFFAIR

I still remember your smile, my dear,
And the hidden glances you threw at me.

I still remember how you looked away,
Each and every time I glanced at you.

You captured my heart like a flame,
Though I pretended to be ignorant.

You were always running away from me,
To repel the magnetism which drew us to each other.

It hurt me, when you never praised me,
Though I deserved it, from your sweet lips...

But then, you trapped me in your web,
And suffocated me with your indifference.

I’m a woman with high self esteem, my dear,
Hence, wanted to run away from you.

I thanked my stars on that day,
When I was pulled away from you.

Though we weren’t in the same crowd,
I was still near you, for you to reach...

But you continued to be indifferent,
And I was in fake harmony.

Soon we met again, on that day,
And I couldn’t hide my surprise and joy.

But you ignored me very evidently,
And I recoiled in to my shell.

Dear, my ageing heart still yearn for that day,
When you proclaim your love for me.

And till then I refuse to bid goodbye,
To this silent affair, if ever it was...

***************************************

© December 2019, Sarika Harikumar Shyam
All rights reserved

Wails of a young woman

The woman in me trembled,
As effeminacy left me in a jiff.

Middle age has not yet embraced me,
And the ripeness of womanhood is not yet seasoned.

But, brown freckles adorn my shaggy face,
Like the stubborn dirt on a white linen.

I fear as night approaches,
Since sleep has stopped coming my way.

I burn and quiver like the boiling tea,
But, fail to hide my emotions in a cup.

This is me, the girl born in the modern era,
Who lost her womanhood to early menopause!

All rights reserved,Sarika Harikumar,oct 9,2019

MOTI

She was clinging on to Achan ( my father) ,locking him and blocking his way.I thought that she was behaving weirdly on that day.I tried to drag her away from Achan. But,she growled at me and continued to hold his legs tightly,not letting him go.It seemed as though she was pleading him to stay and not leave.

Achan told her " I'll be back ,dear.Don't worry,I'll be back soon".

Finally ,I could release Achan from her grip and my parents headed towards hospital. Moti went to a corner of the porch and lay sadly,making soft wailing sound.Looking at her,I felt that she was crying.

It was a  day which I can never forget in my life, because, it was the day of Achan's death. Moti must have sensed death.That's the only justification I can think of,even today.

My parents were going to the hospital that day because Achan was diagnosed with Typhoid and his doctor had advised him to get admitted at the earliest.But,little did we know then that Moti was trying to prevent him from falling into  death's trap.

My father never came back home  from that journey.

We returned home from Achan's ancestral home after a week.Moti was still lying sadly there.We could see untouched food near her.Later, we learned from neighbours that she was also mourning for Achan's death.She never touched the food they gave her and was only living on water for a week.She continued to be gloomy for many months since his demise.

Gradually,like us,She also moved on in life accepting the absence of Achan and a few years later, I too moved on in life accepting her absence as well.

                                                          ***********************

My dear Moti,

 I don't know if your soul is listening.But ,I want you to know that you were my best companion and no one has ever loved me the way you loved me. You were a compassionate being. You loved everything in the world and I have never ever seen you hurting even a fly.

Sometimes I feel that you must have taken another birth and I even search for you in my daughter .
If ever I get a chance to ask for one wish from God, I will ask him to give you back to me.

I love you, dear Moti.



©April 29,2019
Sarika Harikumar

Liberated!

She's now a light and liberated soul,
Surrounded by the warm hues and not worry.

The fake world had locked up the soul,
In the past of youth ,fame and money.

Past is bygone and so is the unreal goal,
And this zestful self is now sunny.

It dances to the tune of nature,
And smiles at the alluring night sky.

The nightingale's song is no more a torture,
But a sweet and soulful lullaby.

It's no longer cold out there,
And the loneliness is never a worry.

This liberated  soul is hence sailing yonder,
Towards the horizon of eternity.


© April 29,2019
Sarika Harikumar

A very common story of life

What do I write, Oh! dear?

It's not a poem of love,
It's a story.
               My story of life and death,
               My story of gain and loss,
               My story of joy and sorrow.
Wait! I'm hindered by another story.

When I stop to listen,
I hear many like stories.
                Many stories of life and death,
                Many stories of gains and losses,
                Many stories of joy and sorrow.

But, isn't that the usual story of life?
And mine too!

Yet, I feel, my story  is unusual,
Yet, I feel,  my loss  is more painful,
Yet ,I feel,  my sorrow is more intense.
And that,the world is too small a stage,
To play my life.

But,the fact remains,
It's just an usual story of life!


© April 28,2019, Sarika Harikumar

Love beyond life

I gazed at my love, the night sky, after many years. He was still in his prime youth, continually transmitting his shine and magnificence everywhere.

I was in love with the night sky then and was very young and naive. But, he never reciprocated my love for him.

I had once set out to know his secrets, to capture him and his emotions. I traveled into the endless realms of Universe. The journey continued for years, but I couldn’t even be near him.

Today, my vision is blurred, my ears deafened and I have lost my youth and energy.I am on my death bed, awaiting for cessation. 

Through the open window, I could see the eternally young and handsome night sky. I closed my eyes, questioning about my love and life.I felt being embraced by the vast and handsome night sky.

I opened my eyes and saw the grieving face of my child over my lifeless body. I could hear mourning from the people around me.

And then, I realized, it was the final answer to my ultimate longing to be with him.

©Sarika Harikumar

April 22,2019

Mermaid

Her name was Kadha. Kadha did not have any friends, but she yearned to be with people. Others knew her as an introvert, but she was an extrovert inside her own self. Her thoughts and fantasies never had any boundaries. 

Kadha was not beautiful, but she wanted to be beautiful. She wanted others to talk about her beauty. She always imagined that she was a mermaid, caught up in human world and thought that her real beauty is hence hidden in the human form.

Kadha had a secret. She had kept it hidden in her study room. It was a beautiful peacock feather. She had picked it up one day on her way back from school.

She imagined that the peacock feather held all the secrets about her mermaid life. She tried to communicate to it every night .She touched it, caressed it and kept it inside her personal diary. In her dreams, she saw lights emanating from  the  treasured feather and low whispering from the diary. She saw the well-lit night sky and the moon light falling on her.She felt being lifted up by an unknown force and found herself in a river,her feet transforming in to a fish tail.Her body was silverish white and it sparkled in moon light.

She had this dream almost every day, but whenever she consciously tried to communicate with the feather, she failed.

Years passed and she grew up to be an ordinary girl. Her dreams never materialized and no one around her called her beautiful. She had suppressed her yearning desire to be accepted and approved by others around her in her childhood itself. She was sure that she will eventually lead a boring emotional life.

Once, she sat contemplating on her life and she happily found that she has many things which others do not have. She completed her studies and grabbed a good job without much difficulty and effort. She was now an extrovert and had many friends. Yet, none said that she was beautiful and her life moved on.

Then, on one day she met him on a train journey. His name was Chintha and was very handsome. Though she was attracted to him, she restricted herself due to her poor self-esteem regarding her appearance. He ignored her reluctance and started talking to her. They talked about the moon and the night sky, birds and nature and finally his dreams.

He told her that he used to have a dream in his childhood. He used to dream about a beautiful mermaid holding a peacock feather sitting by the side of a river on a moon-lit night. The mermaid had, beautiful dusky hair like her.

Then Chintha held the hands of Kadha and told, “Dear beautiful, you are my mermaid .Let’s swim and enjoy the cool waves together.”

And Kadha took out the peacock feather from her diary & kissed it.

*****************